Overcoming Burnout
As a recovering people pleaser I, like many people, struggle to say no. I conditioned myself to automictically say yes to any client referrals, partner requests, and alumni board events. Like most demands, the compiling stress came to crisis level when then the January 6th insurrection occurred. In calamity, it became clear that my emotional supply of energy had run out. I was burnt out.
Burnout occurs when you are exposed to prolonged and excessive stress. Signs of burnout include feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained, exhaustion, high reactivity, and a loss of motivation and interest. When you are burnt out, you may start to feel more resentful when people make asks of you and general hopelessness.
Research has linked burnout to many negative physical and mental health outcomes, including coronary artery disease, hypertension, sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety, and increased substance use. Additionally, burnout has been shown to increase feelings of criticism and resentment, devaluing relationships, and a decrease productivity (Maslach, 2016).
The key to managing burnout is through rest, recovery, and resilience. If you try to push through burnout, you will only find yourself deeper in the hole.
Three Guidelines to Overcome Burnout
1. Manage your own boundaries. Before you agree to a work, friend, or partner request, check in with yourself. Will you feel resentful about doing the task? Are you only saying yes because you’re fearful of their disappointment or frustration in response to a boundary? Can you set a gentle boundary in order to put your emotional wellbeing and safety first?
2. Connect with your community. We do not heal in isolation; we heal in community. Reach out to your family and friends. Ask for support and connection. One of the bravest moves you can make is to vulnerably ask for help when you need it.
3. Prioritize your wellbeing and emotional needs. Exercise is the single most effective way to complete a stress cycle (Nagoski, 2020). How do you need to reprioritize your life so that a vacation isn’t needed to recharge? How can you make more time caring for yourself so that each new stress feels manageable?
My path to recovery from burnout started with evaluating my life and using my values as a guide so that I could create time for the things that really matter, such as date nights with my partner, long hikes on the weekend, babysitting my niece. Burnout can feel impossible to overcome however, through rest and reprioritization, you can build a road to recovery.
