Self-Compassion and the Search for Joy

Our staff decided months ago to make our monthly themes a little more uplifting. However, when we chose the theme of “finding joy in tough times,” I had no idea I’d be typing this from my son’s hospital room as he recovers from major spine surgery.

I’m happy to report that the surgery went amazingly well. My son is sitting next to me, eating his hospital dinner (spaghetti and meatballs) and dozing in and out of sleep as a result of the intense pain meds.

Much like many of you reading this, I have weathered a few storms in my life. My oldest son was born with a rare genetic syndrome that has impacted our family in many ways. I’ve struggled with health anxiety and medical trauma as a result of what we’ve experienced over the 14 years he’s been alive. Overall, he’s a very healthy kid, but when extensive medical procedures (such as a spinal fusion!) arise, I often find myself overwhelmed with anxiety. And, of course, this time has been no different.

But this time, I did something I’d never done before. I planned - anticipating my anxiety. I took almost three full weeks off work, had coworkers cover my supervision and other office roles, and allowed myself to be present with my family. I am leaning heavily on my support system and allowing them to care for our family. In the past, I would have forced myself to be overly self-reliant so as not to burden my loved ones, but this time, I accepted help and anticipated where my anxiety might flare up.

Tending to my anxiety with compassion has allowed me to find joy in this crazy time. My son took 14 steps today, and instead of being riddled with fear as he wobbled across the room, I filmed it and cheered as if he was 12 months old, taking his very first steps.

Take a moment and answer the following questions: how do you care for yourself? What do you need when life feels hard? Extend compassion to your needs, and give yourself permission to feel joy - I promise you, it’s there!