Therapy: Finding the Right Fit
Finding the right therapist often feels like a daunting, almost elusive task. Having been through my own share of unhelpful or downright frustrating experiences with therapists—ranging from one who focused on my coming out story when I was seeking help with grad school transitions, to a couples’ therapist who literally fell asleep during our session (yes, really)—I can relate to how disheartening the process can feel. I’ve also heard similar stories from clients and friends: searching for a therapist takes significant time, effort, and patience, much like navigating the world of online dating. It can feel like you have to go through a few “bad dates” before you meet someone who feels like the right fit. So, why is finding the right therapist so important, and how can you feel more empowered in the process?
Why Therapy Fit Matters
The concept of therapeutic alliance—the working relationship between a therapist and a client—has been extensively researched, and studies show it’s one of the best predictors of successful therapy outcomes. A strong therapeutic alliance promotes trust, safety, and collaboration, which are critical for progress in therapy. When you find the right fit with a therapist, you are more likely to feel understood and supported, all of which can help facilitate meaningful change.
Tips for Finding the Right Therapist
Here are some steps that can help make your search for the right therapist feel more manageable and successful:
Seek Recommendations from Trusted Sources
One of the most reliable ways to find a good therapist is through personal referrals. Ask friends, family, colleagues, or members of your community if they can recommend a therapist they trust. Referrals from people who know you and understand your needs can help you narrow down your options. For example, I found my own therapist through a connection at Northwestern University (shout out Melinda!), which turned out to be a great match.
2. Request a Free Consultation
Many therapists offer a free initial consultation, either by phone or video. Use this opportunity to assess how comfortable you feel with them. Ask about their approach to therapy, cultural competency, and their experience with clients who share your background or concerns. It's also helpful to ask what they look for in a client-therapist relationship—this is a two-way partnership, and it’s important that the fit feels mutual. Open communication from the start can help you determine whether their approach aligns with your expectations.
3. Trust the Process and Be Patient
Finding the right therapist can take time, and it’s important to go into the process with patience and openness. It may take a few attempts before you find someone with whom you truly click. If after a few sessions you feel that a therapist isn't a good fit, it’s okay to seek someone else. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed; rather, it’s part of the process of finding the right person who can support you in the way that you need. Remember, therapy is a journey, and sometimes the path to healing requires some trial and error.
4. Consider Your Own Needs and Values
Finally, take some time to reflect on your own needs and preferences. Are you looking for someone who shares similar cultural or life experiences? Do you need a therapist who specializes in a particular area, such as grief, trauma, or addiction? Think about what is most important to you in a therapeutic relationship, and don't hesitate to advocate for your needs during your search.
Remember, therapy is a relationship, and it’s okay if it takes time to find someone who feels like the right fit. Keep going, and you’ll eventually find the support that helps you thrive. As always, the amazing therapists at Amanda Atkins Counseling Group are here to support you!
