People of all genders and sexualities have babies
The Supreme Court’s anticipated decision to overturn Roe v. Wade has churned up an intensity of emotions and fear for me. Abortion access would be severely limited for folks of color and access will largely be determined by geography and socio-economic status. Some states are also priming to release laws that would criminalize miscarriages and limit contraceptive access. The policing of people’s bodies is sadly not a new struggle. As a Lesbian in the south, I experience intense anxiety about how Queer, Trans, and Nonbinary bodies may be regulated or human rights violated.
Though the desire to start a family is ubiquitous in our culture, often gay parents are not considered in the heteronormative world of parenting and motherhood. Our culture often excludes gender and sexual minorities. For transgender and nonbinary people, they are often denied access to inclusive and affirming care that cisgender folks receive. Our language matters. When we use phrases like expectant mothers or motherhood, we exclude Transgender men and nonbinary folks who do get pregnant. I know that these shifts can’t happen automatically, however with practice we can culturally shift to make pregnancy more inclusive.
Our health care system also needs to shift to be more inclusive and affirming for gender and sexual minorities. Insurance carriers often will not recognize that nonbinary and transgender folks also need pregnancy and postnatal care. As therapists, we can be advocates for our transgender and nonbinary clients in health care. Our voice by raising awareness within insurance networks can shift the culture to be more inclusive and safe for people of all genders and sexualities.
Here are a few small changes that you can make to be more gender and relationship inclusive:
INSTEAD OF THESE GENDERED TERMS
Mom/ Motherhood
Father/Fatherhood
Parent/ Parenthood
Pregnant Mom
Mother/ Mom
TRY THESE GENDER AFFIRMING TERMS
Pregnant Person
Birthing Parent
Father/ Mother
Husband/ Wife
Spouse
Partner, Coparent
