Surviving Covid: 4 Tips For Post-Pandemic Parenting
No matter how much you love being a parent, there can be days when you’re overwhelmed by the demands of life. As a mom of three pretty awesome kiddos, I can honestly say there have been days (let’s be honest, weeks) in the last two years when parenting feels way too hard and I have wanted to run away…like forever. Parenting through the pandemic was next level. It stretched my patience and resolve in ways I didn’t even know were possible. Hard days often bumped up against even harder days. The anxiety of sitting in a constant state of uncertainty and survival mode makes me think we will be collectively recovering from this period in history for years to come. It’s been especially challenging because of the isolation. We’ve had less access to our villages of support - family, friends, caretakers and teachers - over the last two years. I know I am not alone in feeling like this season of parenting has been one of the loneliest in my 12 years as a parent.
As we cautiously stumble our way out of the global pandemic and find our new sense of normalcy, here are a few things I am trying to implement into my life to recover from the last two years in an effort to make parenting feel a little less survivable and much more livable.
Refuel your Spirit
With chronic stress and exhaustion mounting during the marathon of the pandemic, refueling your spirit is integral to healing. We all recharge differently. Whether it’s spending time in nature, grabbing dinner with a friend or finding a quiet moment for meditation before the kids wake up, find what works. Be mindful of when your emotional tank feels low and find ways to refuel by taking care of YOU! Self-care is never selfish.
2. Rebuild Your Tribe
As someone who wants to feel in control of her life and her actions, I know first-hand there's nothing more nerve-wracking and vulnerable that admitting I can’t do it all and asking for help. But here's the thing: Asking for help can actually benefit you—and the people you're asking. In fact, one study revealed that asking for help actually makes you appear more competent to others. Whether it’s asking a neighbor or a friend for help with your kids or seeking out a therapist to help you work through some of the intense stress you’ve encountered over the last two years, admitting you need support is a sign of strength and self-awareness.
3. Reflect on the learnings
If there’s one silver lining to the pandemic, it’s the amount of time my husband and I got to spend with our kids. Perhaps there are routines or rituals that you and your family developed over the past two years that you want to keep. Whether juggling work and homeschooling required a more consistent schedule or fancy dinner Friday nights were all the rage in your house (like they were in mine), take some time to reflect on the joyful moments and the learning moments. Be intentional about keeping the good that came out of the pandemic.
4. Repair your relationship:
As a relationship therapist, I see first-hand, the toll couples have felt living on-top of each other for two years. According to a survey conducted by the Institute of Family Studies, 34 percent of married people reported the pandemic had stressed their relationship. We have spent two years with an enormous quantity of time together, without a lot of quality time. Set aside space to communicate your needs with your partner, while also respecting your partner’s needs. Try to recall the pre-pandemic activities that kept you two close. As you start to feel more comfortable - get that babysitter, take that trip, pick that shared hobby back up and reconnect as a couple!
