Challenging the Perceptions and Stigmas of Singlehood

We have all been there before, you are going to a family event or meeting up with a friend and one of the first questions you are asked is, “Are you dating anyone?” When I was single and got that question, I would often feel the winning combination of both defensiveness and embarrassment.

Culturally in the United States, people often see marriage as both a mark of success and status. Despite forty percent of American adults not being in a serious partnership, singles face prejudice and discrimination stemming from negative beliefs, attitudes, and stereotypes. Singles also face economic challenges because they earn less and often pay more for social benefits, health care, and income taxes as compared to their married counterparts (Fisher and Sakaluk, 2020). Let’s move out of the stigma and into celebrating and embracing singlehood. There are countless lessons we can learn from singlehood…

1. Building Self Worth. Self-worth is about feeling inherently of value just as we are. A strong sense of self worth is about knowing who you are and compassionately accepting all parts of yourself. Sometimes we use relationships to distract from the insecurities we may feel about ourselves. Exploring your identity while single can be an opportunity to find redemption in selfhood.

2. Honoring Community. We need connection and community to thrive. If we took marriage off the pedestal and saw all relationships (romantic, familial, and friendship) as equally important for connection, how might that change the biases and stigma that singles face? Meaningful friendships enhance our self-esteem and our resiliency. Often, we put an immense amount of pressure on partners to meet all of our needs. Leaning into our robust community can be the salve we need to feel belonging and acceptance.

3. Feeling freer to explore creativity and independence. A recent study in 2021 found that people that relish their singlehood also value independence and freedom from societal norms (MacDonald, 2021). With partnership comes immense compromise. A single person can fully embrace their desires and values and build the life that they want to live.

If you are single or partnered, let us work on embracing who we are and seeing all relationships as inherently equal and of value.