Caring for Ourselves as We Care for Others

As the age-old adage goes, “life is hard.” While virtually all of us have known this to be true, this statement perhaps weighs more heavily on society's shoulders after enduring the past few years. Navigating a pandemic, staying afloat in unpredictable political waters, and managing our nervous systems amidst the surge of media production and consumption are just a few examples of the unique challenges of the 2020s.

An integral question in therapeutic practice, and one that everyone should consider regardless of profession, identity, or lifestyle, is this: How can we best care for ourselves while caring for others?

Therapists frequently carry this question at the top of their minds—after all, we are best known as wounded healers. This question is perhaps more crucial to the human experience now than ever before, though, as many of us try to support each other through struggles that we ourselves are enduring.

In my personal experience, it has been fundamental to my mental and physical well-being to become very intentional in how I care for myself and those around me. I have had to identify the limits of my responsibility, balance self-discipline with grace and compassion, and be mindful of my capacity for certain topics, settings, and demands at any given time.

Being there for others, especially in times as demanding as the one we currently inhabit, does not necessitate giving pieces of ourselves away. Rather, being there for others incorporates an extension of our embodied experiences, presence, and care as a method of connecting with others. To hold space for others requires that we hold space for ourselves.

Thus, my hope for you is this: get to know yourself. Spend time with the parts of you that need attention and tenderness, and be with those parts without judgment. The better we know ourselves—our strengths, our limits, and everything in between—the better able we are to advocate for ourselves, to show up for others, and to do each of those things effectively.

If you are struggling in this season, I see you. I am with you. And I am proud that you are here.

Isabella is a therapist and AACG and can be reached at isabella@amandaatkinschicago.com.